Uncategorized – K. Epperson

May Resolution

It’s May 3. That’s crazy.

Not only that, but it’s time for another monthly resolution. April got lost in the mail, but May is here and ready to go. We’re going to step it up a notch this month and tackle the S-word: screens.

This one hits close to home, because a) I write for a living, and b) I’m a millennial. And in case you haven’t heard, we millennials like our screens.

In fact, what prompted this particular resolution was my daughter. I was reading an article on my phone one morning, and she jokingly said, “You’re like Skipper in Barbie. She loves her phone.”

Ouch.

Now, before you judge me too harshly, I spend a lot of time with my girls. They aren’t lacking for attention or love or care. But still. That was a gut punch.

While my husband and I have a “no phone” rule for the dinner table, I don’t want to be that parent. And I certainly don’t want her to grow up to become that teenager.

So May’s resolution is to reduce phone screen time. The specific amount is up to you, but I’m shooting for a 20% reduction in non-work related screen time (my work is almost exclusively on a laptop and generally does not interfere with family time).

Being Aware

If you’re not sure how to check your screen time, you can follow these simple instructions for an iPhone. For an Android, follow these.

While we often use our phones for good reasons, it’s so easy to overuse them. Plus, there are many tasks we can do equally well without them.

For instance, I use my phone to listen to music or read the Bible. Those are good things, in of themselves. But I can do them just as effectively without using a screen. I also like to use my phone for recipes. But I have actual cookbooks that haven’t been used in a while.

That’s going to change this month.

The point of this resolution is not to demonize phones, but it will provide perspective and help foster intentionality in using them. That doesn’t allow for scrolling mindlessly or reaching for our phones when we’re bored.

Creating Boundaries

Here are a few suggestions to help curve the temptation to use our phones as a crutch:

App time limits–You can set time limits for certain apps. So when you say, “I’m just going to check Facebook,” you don’t fall down the rabbit hole of comments sections and cat videos.
Phone bedtime–Put your phone away at a certain time each night. If you use your phone as an alarm (I do), you can put it in your nightstand while you read a book or relax in another room.
Turn off notifications–I have certain group texts on silent. It’s not that I don’t want to interact with the group, but inevitably one person sends a message and then it’s a rapid succession of dings. By putting the group on silent, I can see the messages and respond at the best time. You can customize these, too, so you don’t miss calls from certain people, like your spouse.
Accountability partner–Kids are the best, because they will CALL YOU OUT. But if you don’t have kids (or don’t care for their brutal form of honesty), choose a friend to check in with you. Have them ask for your screen time stats or bring it to your attention when they see you on your phone.
Put your phone out of reach. This is one of the best options for me, personally. If I leave my phone in my purse when I get home, I rarely get it out unless I need to. But if my phone is right next to me while I’m doing something, it’s easy to just pick it up and look at it for no reason. Putting the phone away forces us to be intentional about using it. Out of sight, out of mind.

You Can Do This

If you find yourself a little trepidatious to start, that’s natural. But this resolution is worth it. Being present is worth it. Finding more time in your day is worth it. Tuning out the distractions is worth it. Having more peace is worth it.

So, are you in? Message me or leave me a note in the comments.

May Resolution Read More »

A March(ish) Resolution

Uncategorized / kepperson2

closeup photo of journal book and pencils

Hello, friends! Today marks the ides of March. In spite of Shakespeare’s famous line, the ides were rather benign. In ancient Rome, they were days designated for settling debts. And wouldn’t you know it, I owe you a post and a monthly resolution! So I’m settling my debt today on the ides of March. No backstabbing here.

My tardiness is not excused, but I’ll give you an excuse anyway. Here goes….

I’ve been busy.

This time of year is slightly hectic, and I’ve been pushing non-essential items further down on my list. And in those times of craziness, it’s incredibly easy to grumble and complain.

Complaining is sort of like vomiting, you know? It might make you feel better, but it stinks and leaves a mess for someone to clean up.

So let’s not do that, shall we not?

Which brings me to March’s resolution. This month, let’s focus on gratitude. I know, it’s not November. Thanksgiving is nowhere in sight. But that’s why it’s the perfect time to practice some gratitude. Gratitude gives us perspective when things get murky. Besides, let’s face it: There’s a lot to anxious about these days. Perspective is just what we need right about now.

So your challenge is to physically note or write down things for which you’re grateful. You can call it a journal, if you want. If colorful pens and beautifully bound lined paper help you complete the task, go for it. If you’d rather do a bullet point list on your phone while eating a granola bar as you frantically get the kids out the door so you can drop them off at school and get to work? That’s good, too. In fact, you’re exactly the person who needs some gratitude–and perhaps a moment to breathe.

Just to get you started on some ideas, here are some things for which I am grateful today:

I woke up in a warm bed with central heating and air. I despise being cold, and a comfortable bed is a luxury.
I am not living in a war zone. This is always a point of gratitude, but it’s especially pertinent right now. With that comes a whole host of blessings, too. For instance, there are mothers on the other side of the globe this morning who had to write their children’s names and pin it to their clothing for identification, in case the school was bombed. I didn’t have to do that, and it’s impossible to articulate how grateful I am for that.
The ability to walk- Walking feels great, and it helps our bodies and minds. Last week I spent 15 hours in a car within two days. Walking is “fresh” on my gratitude list!
I’m thankful for difficult people. No, they’re not fun to deal with, but I learn lessons each time I have to deal with them. I draw closer to the One who can help me, and I come out with a new appreciation for those who are kind.
I have enough Crystal Light packets to last me a few days. And I’m grateful for that purple-colored, caffeinated flavored water. It’s my elixir of life. Or at least my elixir of basic functioning.

So even though March came in like a lion (in more ways than one!), let’s do our part to help it go out like a lamb. What are some things for which you’re grateful? They can be silly, serious, big, little, weird, or boring. I guarantee that if you start the list, you’ll find unexpected things to add to it.

Want to share some things from your list? Comment below. I would love to see what you included!

A March(ish) Resolution Read More »

An Alternative to Resolutions

Holidays, Lifestyle, Minimalism, Uncategorized / kepperson2

close up photograph of two person holding sparklers

Are you a habitual resolution-setter? Are they not your thing? Perhaps you’re the “word of the year” type. There’s value in each of those choices.

But if you’re looking for something a little different as we head into this new year, you might just find your answer here.

Setting a resolution for 365 days is admirable, but how often do we give up by February? Maybe even earlier? I’m looking at you, “no sugar” from 2016.

On the other hand, resolutions can often improve our lives, even if we don’t make it to December 31.

So what to do?

Monthly Challenges

Instead of trying to last 365 days on one pursuit, try doing 12 different challenges for ~30 days. This does two things. First, it makes each goal more attainable. Second, it also allows you to make improvements in multiple areas of your life, versus just one area.

To help you get started, I’m going to issue a monthly challenge on the blog on the first of each month. You can opt to do the challenge I’ve set, or you can pick your own. Some of these goals will only take a few minutes, while others might be a daily commitment. No matter.

The point is to make a promise to yourself and keep that proimse. This increases the likelihood of attaining future goals, which reinforces our own integrity. After all, honesty with ourselves is just as important as honesty with others.

Okay, so are you ready for January’s challenge? Here it is:

Make a Donation

You know that box of gently used clothing and unused toys that’s been sitting in your hall for a month? (Anyone else? Or is that just me?) Donate it.

You can donate it to Goodwill, a local charity, a friend who actually wants it, or any organization of your choice. There’s a local association in my town that raises money for scholarships at Free-Hardeman University, where my husband coaches. We always donate there first. Then, we donate elsewhere.

This is an easy challenge because it doesn’t require you to donate every day. But it’s an important symbol of cleaning out the old and making space for the new.

You could even go above and beyond and make multiple donations. They don’t have to be unwanted objects, either. You can make a financial donation to the charity of your choice. If you have a particular skill or talent, you could donate your services to someone in need. Whatever you choose, donate something this month.

Don’t go thinking all the challenges will be this easy, though! I’ve got a list, and I’m eager to share them.

I would love to hear from you! If you complete the first challenge, shoot me an email or comment below.

Here’s to finding joy in 2022 through nourishing and edifying practices. Happy New Year!

An Alternative to Resolutions Read More »

Taking the Pressure off a Memorable Holiday

Holidays, Lifestyle, Minimalism, Parenting, Uncategorized / kepperson2

This time of year is always special. It’s a time of joy and excitement and general goodwill.

It’s also a labyrinth of social obligations, financial stressors, memories of those lost, and overall chaos.

If you’re a minimalist, or even if you have just a cursory understanding of minimalism, you know it’s better to prioritize memories over things.

That philosophy helps prevent excess during the holidays, and it also promotes intentionality in how we spend this festive time.

There can be this pressure, though, to create the “perfect holiday.” A time of impeccable balance, lifelong memories, and the best traditions.

There is no perfect Christmas. The turkey will get overcooked. The toddler will break an ornament. The lights won’t work, or someone will ruin the family picture.

Those hiccups can put a damper on your plans, but they don’t have to. Some of my favorite memories are the result of such disasters.

When my husband and I returned home one year, we couldn’t drive up the hill to our place because there was so much ice and snow. We had to leave our car at a garage at the bottom of the hill and walk up to our place. It was cold and miserable at the time, but now it’s a happy memory.

My family loves to bake during the holidays, and fortunately (unfortunately?), I have several good bakers around me. When I made a less than stellar homemade pie crust one year, it was more than a little frustrating. My dignity as a baker and member of the family was on the line, for crying out loud!

To this day, I get teased about the “chewy pie crust.” My ego recovered long ago, but the laughs continue.

As a child, we had a live Christmas tree each year. One year, my mother went by herself to get the tree. My mother, who is all of 5 feet tall.

Needless to say, the tree she chose was…. diminutive. The family was taken aback. This wasn’t a Christmas tree; it was a shrub!

That’s one of the few trees I remember distinctly. We laughed for ages about that little tree. It was the one year my mother could put on the tree topper.

I could go on, but you get the point. We never know which part of the holidays will create a special memory.

Many of the best memories don’t come from planned events. They come from fiascos, changes in plans, and unexpected results.

So this year, by all means, prioritize memories over things. Don’t “gift yourself” a mountain of debt this Christmas.

But you don’t have to twist yourself into a pretzel trying to create perfect memories, either. This time is not about avoiding any and all negative emotions. When we let go of unrealistic expectations, we make room to enjoy the holidays with all their inevitable twists and turns.

At the intersection of thwarted plans and an open heart is where we find the magic of the season.

Taking the Pressure off a Memorable Holiday Read More »

Do You Have a Victim Mentality? Here’s How to Tell.

Lifestyle, Uncategorized / kepperson2

Suffering is an inevitable part of the human experience. We can try to avoid it or treat it, but we cannot escape it. Many times, that suffering comes at the hands of another person. When that happens, we are victims of maltreatment.

A victim mentality, however, is not the same thing as being a victim. There are people who have suffered unspeakable trauma, yet never develop a victim mentality. There are others with a victim mentality who’ve led quite comfortable lives. In essence, our mental outlook does not necessarily have to correspond with the reality of our situation.

A victim mentality is a self-inflicted handicap, and it can be destructive to the individual and those around them. It’s easy to spot this mentality in others, but it’s more difficult to detect in ourselves. So the question is, do you have a victim mentality? Read about the major signs to find out.

You can’t see multiple perspectives.

A realistic scenario: Let’s say I’m walking down the hall at work. A coworker walks past me without saying hello or acknowledging my existence.

If I have a healthy mindset, I might think of several reasons why the coworker didn’t speak. Perhaps they’re having a bad day and not in the mood to talk. Perhaps they are lost in thought and didn’t see me. Maybe they’re just not the chatty type, or maybe they’re not a morning person. None of those reasons have absolutely anything to do with me.

If I have a victim mentality, on the other hand, I will automatically jump to the conclusion that the coworker ignored me because they’re angry with me or because they don’t like me.

A person with a victim mentality assumes every situation is about them. Additionally, they cannot view anything outside of their own perspective. This lowers their ability to empathize with others. The ability to see different perspectives and empathize is critical to healthy relationships and critical thinking. Without it, we stunt our social-emotional and intellectual growth.

You give up easily.

Central to a victim mentality is the idea that you have little to no control over outcomes. If you have little control over how things turn out, then why try? When things get hard, it’s easy to just resign yourself to a bad outcome and give up.

It’s not difficult to imagine how this could damage someone’s ability to be successful in school, work, health, or in relationships.

You view people as allies or enemies.

If I have a victim mentality, I don’t view relationships as complicated or people as a mixed bag of positive attributes and weaknesses. I view them as either an ally or an enemy.

The problem with that thinking is this: We are all imperfect people who, in spite of our best efforts, will occasionally hurt one another. Interpersonal relationships are hard. They’re complicated. Most of the time, the people we love the most see our ugliest parts. Our friends and family are our greatest cheerleaders, but they can also hurt us the most.

So when my friend eventually disappoints me, they get permanently moved to the “enemies” list. When my family member hurts me, the relationship deteriorates rapidly. They have been cruel to me, so I am morally superior to them.

This thinking is the fast track to isolation and loneliness, which reinforces the victim complex. It’s a vicious cycle.

You draw attention to yourself.

If I have a victim mentality, I need others to recognize my pain. I need others to praise me and pity me. I can’t get that pay-off without them knowing my story. So I’m going to talk about it. I’m going to talk about myself. A lot. In fact, if there’s a conversation happening, I’m going to find a way to relate it to my own experience. Every single time.

The explanation for this is simple: Someone with a victim mentality cannot think about the emotional needs of others. They are zeroed in on their own experience, and they need others to be, as well. That means drawing attention to themselves, in whatever way necessary, even if it means breaking social norms.

You enjoy others’ sympathy.

When we’re hurt, it can feel good to have a sympathizing ear. But if I have a victim complex, it’s almost a compulsion. I need people to feel sorry for me.

Therefore, I will draw attention to the wrongs I’ve suffered, both past and present. No slight is too small. I will remember all the times I’ve been hurt and trot them out. My dog and pony show will only end once everyone has confirmed my assertion that I have been mistreated.

If I can’t think of someone who has hurt me, I will talk about my poor circumstances or disadvantages to elicit sympathy. Whatever it takes.

When bad things happen, you need to blame someone… someone else.

Someone with a healthy mindset realizes that bad things happen for a myriad of reasons, some due to chance and some due to their own actions. Someone with a victim mentality, however, needs to blame someone, and that someone is never themselves.

People who work with children or young people see this a lot. If a child misbehaves, most parents hold the child responsible. There are some parents, though, that will minimize or completely excuse their child’s behavior by blaming it on someone else.

A victim mentality is an antithesis to personal responsibility. It can dull the conscience to the point where someone with a victim mentality actually victimizes other people and then blames them.

Your major concern is fairness, above all else.

There’s an account in the Bible that’s famous among even the non-religious. It’s when Solomon uses wisdom to discern who the real mother of a baby is by suggesting they split the baby in two. The false mother is fine with this solution, whereas the real mother pleads for the baby’s survival.

Someone with a victim mentality wants to split the baby. They don’t care who gets hurt or how ridiculous it is; they want things to be fair. Forget personal responsibility. Forget learning from mistakes. If I have to suffer, I want someone else to suffer, too. I must preserve my self-created victim status, and I can’t do that unless someone is being unfair to me. If I commit a wrong, my first reaction is to find someone else who did something worse. If someone else earns something, I must have it, too. I can’t be left out and I can’t be called out.

Most people exhibit one of these signs from time to time, but if you find yourself relating to more than one of these signs on a frequent basis, you might have a victim mentality. To find out more about this phenomenon, read more about it here.

Do You Have a Victim Mentality? Here’s How to Tell. Read More »

Happiness is Overrated. Here are 5 Reasons Why.

Uncategorized / kepperson2

Everyone wants happiness, right? To be truly happy, now that’s a goal worth having. Do what makes you happy.

Actually? Happiness is overrated. Here are 5 reasons why:

Unhappiness can lead to growth.

In 2006, my father was experiencing flu-like symptoms. This went on for weeks. He couldn’t seem to shake it. Then he started having night sweats. After a while, he went to the doctor to figure out what was going on.

He was quickly diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

Those unpleasant symptoms led to his diagnosis and treatment. If he had not experienced those symptoms, he would never have sought medical attention. And he most assuredly would have died, as a result. He lived an additional 14 years without one recurrence of lymphoma.

Much like physical symptoms help our bodies realize something isn’t right, our mental unhappiness can help us realize that something is off in our lives.

Sometimes the change needed is external. Perhaps we need to change our environment, our job, or where we live. But sometimes, the change is internal. Maybe we need to change our attitude about something. Maybe our spiritual life needs nourishment. Perhaps we need to seek counseling.

(As an aside, I’m a big proponent of counseling, and not just for “crises.” Sometimes you can have a wonderful life and just need an outside perspective. Counseling is great for those times.)

Unhappiness can be a good warning signal that something is out of alignment. In those times we need our unhappiness to help us grow.

Unhappiness can lead to gratitude.

Last winter, we traveled one weekend to visit family. When we came back home, we returned to below freezing temperatures… and a broken thermostat. Our house was around 50°F, and it would only go down from there.

Needless to say, I wasn’t happy.

But with the help of local friends (and just wonderful people), we not only got our heat restored, but we were able to function in the meantime. But the day we got our thermostat fixed, I’ve never been so grateful for heat. It was glorious.

But I was grateful for other things, too. I was grateful for those who had come to our rescue. I was grateful for the adventure and story that came out of the whole ordeal. My daughters slept in the bed with my husband and me to conserve heaters and stay warm. It was the most miserable night of “sleep” I’ve ever had. But those memories? They’ll last forever.

That short period of unhappiness led to some good memories and a lot of gratitude.

Happiness is temporary.

“Happiness is a mindset.” “Choose happiness.” “Happiness is in your control.”

I appreciate the value in these statements, because there is certainly truth in them. However, those statements can only go so far.

The fact is, everyone has bad days. Those are influenced by a lot of factors. And in those moments, it’s not your job to “will yourself” to be happy. The happiness will come again. It’s okay that it’s not there at the moment. Just make the best decisions you can in the moment and let the emotions follow at their own speed.

Case in point: Let’s say you have a chronic illness. You wake up in the morning with a lot of pain. It’s not going to be a good day, physically. You probably aren’t going to be “happy” in that moment. And that’s okay. If you feel guilty because you’re not happy about your pain, then you’ll end up feeling even worse.

Our goal isn’t to be happy at all times. Our goal is to say, “I’m not happy right now. But I know that in the end, it will all be okay.”

It’s easy to mistake other emotions with happiness.

We are experts at self-deception. Sometimes we trick ourselves into thinking we’re happy, when it’s actually something completely different.

Infatuation, feeling flattered, excitement, lust, a sugar-high, safety, comfort, all of these can easily be misconstrued as happiness. They’re not the same.

That’s why celebrities who are “so happy for the first time in my life” on the cover of a magazine one week “have been unhappy for a long time” two months later.

Not every positive emotion is happiness. And if we live our lives seeking the next hit of positive emotions, we’ll be disappointed and extremely unhappy.

Happiness is an outgrowth.

Seeking happiness is like quitting your job to go search for a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Happiness will come and go, but long-lasting contentment and purpose are within reach by living a meaningful life.

Happiness is not a goal… it’s a by-product of a life well lived.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

For those that like sports analogies, my husband coaches women’s basketball, and the team most definitely wants to win. But they do that by improving their skills and playing the game well. Winning is a by-product of perfecting your game, both mentally and physically.

So while I do wish happiness for you, I hope you experience something much better than that. I hope you find purpose, meaning, and conviction. If you find those things, happiness will take care of itself.

Happiness is Overrated. Here are 5 Reasons Why. Read More »

Have FOMO? Here’s How to Deal With It.

Uncategorized / kepperson2

forking road, split road, travel-839830.jpg

The fear of missing out, or FOMO, is real. Don’t believe me? Look at your phone. How many notifications are on there? Photos? We have streaming services with recording options so we don’t miss watching a show. Social media exists. We have multiple news channels dedicated to 24/7 news.

FOMO isn’t just real, it’s an epidemic.

No one really likes to admit they have a fear of missing out. At least, not by judging how many memes there are on “living in the moment.” Or some similar platitude. And yet, how many times have we missed out on actual conversations because we were afraid of missing out on virtual conversations?

I’m guilty.

So how do we embrace the idea of “missing out”? How do we accept the possibility of being left out, even if it means living a better life? Here are some easy ways to help treat FOMO:

Repeat me: You can’t have it all.

Does that sound defeatist? Maybe so. But embracing that unpleasant reality can actually help us lead more focused lives. Everything we do involves a trade-off.

That actress who seems to never age? She most likely traded a lot of time and money for that look. That person who is at the top of their career? They traded a lot of other opportunities to get there. That celebrity who is always in the “hottest relationship” of the year? They have to sacrifice familial stability and a LOT of privacy for that new fling.

No one has it all. But some have the most important things. The difference? Priorities. You have to do a deep dive and decide what your priorities really are.

We like to say generic things like health or family. Those are certainly noble priorities, but are we willing to sacrifice to get them? Am I willing to give up time on my phone so I can fully invest in my family? Am I willing to give up soda or get up early to exercise before work?

If our professed priorities don’t line up with our habits, then we are living in a state of disconnect. That’s a great way to stay frustrated.

By accepting that we can’t have it all, we can get down to figuring out what those most important things are. Then work toward those, and the rest is just the proverbial icing on the cake.

Play “worst case scenario.”

My father used to do this exercise with me, and it really helped when I felt overwhelmed. I would be worried about “what if” scenarios and get myself worked up. Anxious.

He would stop me and ask, “Let’s assume you’re right. So then what?”

I would go through the worst case scenario. Most of the time, I realized the worst case wasn’t really all that bad. I could live with it. When you know you can handle the worst, you gain confidence moving forward.

So what if you miss out on that event? What will really happen if you forget to wish someone a Happy Birthday because you weren’t on Facebook that day? Is your workplace going to collapse if you don’t work late today? Are you going to be cast aside as a social pariah if you don’t buy that ceramic pumpkin from Hobby Lobby?

Most likely, your world will continue. And that means you don’t have to worry about missing out. Because you’re not missing out on that much anyway.

Remind yourself of the benefits.

Life choices are not always clear. It’s not like we walk around thinking, “Should I help this old lady across the street or steal candy from a child?”

Many times we have to choose between good options! It’s a great problem to have. But it can leave us feeling guilty. Something had to give.

But it is in those times we can go back to our priorities and remind ourselves of what we’re gaining by making a choice. I like to use this sentence frame when I have to choose between good things:

“By choosing ____, I’m gaining ______. Even though I wanted ______, it’s not the most important thing right now.”

Do we want to spend time with friends or work on our thesis? Do we want to volunteer for others or spend time with family? Do we want to help out by working overtime or do we want to go to the gym and exercise?

These choices are not between bad and good. These choices are between better and best. Decide what is best, make the choice, and let go of the guilt.

“Is this going to matter in 5 years?”

Who won the Super Bowl 5 years ago? What was the top news story 5 years ago? What did you eat for dinner 2 nights ago?

Even though we desperately cling to the past through photos, memorabilia, and stories, the hard truth is that we forget easily. Things that seem so important to us now become so insignificant in a short time. When we’re having trouble with FOMO, we can ask ourselves if it will matter in 5 years.

Most of the time, the answer is no. I don’t want to miss out on the “big things.” But those things I’ll forget in a week? I can miss those.

Fear of missing out is real, and it’s a struggle. But with a few mental strategies, we can deal with it. We might even realize that we’re not really missing out. We’re choosing to live with purpose, and our lives are better for it.

Have FOMO? Here’s How to Deal With It. Read More »

How to Have a Cozy Minimalist Home

Lifestyle, Minimalism, Uncategorized / kepperson2

opened book on white cloth near dandelion flowers

This week we’re taking a break from our “How to Think Better” series. You can catch up on those posts here and here.

I’m sitting here on a rainy day, and all I want to do is curl up with a good book and warm blanket.

I’m a fan of Hygge, the Danish concept that was all the rage a couple of years ago. It’s basically the word for coziness, comfort, and wellness. Those all sound nice, right?

But here’s the thing:

I’m also a minimalist.

And the image that comes to mind for most people when I say that word is an empty room of stark, white walls and sharp edges.

There’s nothing cozy about that.

So the question is, how do we can we have a minimalist, cozy home? Check out these tips to bring the best of both of these worlds into your home:

1. Use natural woods and warm colors.

Remember about 10 years ago when everyone decided to paint all the walls gray?

Now, I’m not knocking gray. I don’t have anything against gray.

But maybe we should dial it down a bit. Like 100 notches or so.

Using warm neutrals and natural wood is a great way to bring some warmth into your space.

2. Incorporate small touches.

Plants. Books. A throw blanket. A couple of pillows. A little goes a long way.

The key, though, is to keep it limited. This is difficult because we can easily justify just one more pillow/blanket/plant, etc. It’s only a few dollars and it’s so cute. Right?

It’s all fun and games until your house looks like a picked over thrift store.

In order for an item to get inside the house, it has to meet some criteria. Is it comfortable or useful? Is it in line with the aesthetic I want to achieve? Will it last? Can I swap something else out for it?

Using these guidelines can help add comfort while avoiding unnecessary clutter.

3. Have a very select few conversation pieces.

You don’t need your life history to vomit itself all over your walls, but a few pieces can help.

Keyword is few. If you want to see walls plastered with memorabilia, go to Cracker Barrel.

If you have a photo from one of your favorite trips, you might choose that. If you have a funky piece of art that someone gave you, you might display it.

For instance, my sister has a giant wooden fork and spoon on her kitchen wall. It’s a set my mother had for years, and she was all to happy to give them a new home. Now my sister has a conversation piece that reminds her of our amazing mother.

Bonus? She also has utensils ready if a giant comes to visit.

4. Be someone who others want to be around.

Will you do a thought experiment with me?

Think back to your fondest memories as a child. Think about the places and homes you were so excited to visit. Think about what you were doing in those homes.

What made those memories special? Was it because the house was decorated so beautifully or had the most expensive furniture? Was it because of all the things in the house?

Or was it because of the people?

When I think back to my fondest memories as a child, they are special because of WHO is in them, not WHAT is in them.

I remember playing games with friends and family in hot, cramped, outdated living rooms.

I remember sitting around a kitchen table with a card table shoved up against it so everyone could sit.

I remember shag carpets and ugly furniture and wood paneling and pitiful fake florals.

And it was the best.

You see, if you really want people to feel comfortable in your home, you don’t need the nicest stuff. Because stuff doesn’t make up memories, anyway. People do.

Focus on the people, and the rest will take care of itself.

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10 Ways to Beat the Winter Blues

Uncategorized / kepperson2

It’s January, and the holidays are over. It’s dark. It’s cold. And the only thing you see on the news is conflict.

Anyone else ready to hibernate until spring?

Alas, we are not designed to hibernate, but this time of year can be depressing. In fact, an estimated 14% of the U.S. population are said to suffer from Subsyndromal SAD, a mild form of Seasonal Affective Disorder. The winter blues are no joke.

But how do you beat them?

Since changing the weather isn’t an option, we must adapt to it. Here 10 ways you can battle those pesky winter blues:

Play music.

Research shows that music can have a positive effect on your mood. Listening to music has the added bonus of being something you can do while completing other activities, so it doesn’t require any extra time or attention. Even if you have a job where listening to music during the workday isn’t an option, you can turn up the tunes during your commute or while getting ready for the day.

Get moving.

The paradox of exercise is that we need it the most when we feel the least like moving. When you’re tired and cold, the last thing you want to do is go bust out a grueling workout. But it can help your mood by releasing endorphins and increasing energy. Whether you choose to take a walk or put on an exercise video, doing something to move and get that heart rate up will help fight off seasonal sadness.

Turn off the news.

When my father was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins lymphoma in 2006, one of the first things the oncologist told him was to stop watching the news. She told him he would fare better without the negativity. She was absolutely right. “The news” isn’t just cable news, either. Go on a social media fast, even if it’s just for a few days. Climbing out of the sewer of human discourse and getting some fresh air will definitely help your mood. But wait, you might ask, don’t I need to be informed? True, but there’s only so much we can control. And ultimately, you don’t owe it to anyone to constantly listen to their opinions or to constantly share your own. I will take my own health and mental well-being over someone else’s self-righteousness any day.

Invite friends over.

It’s 2021 and we don’t do that anymore. WRONG. Socially distance, wear a mask, pour hand sanitizer all over each other. Whatever precautions you need to take, do that, but we are designed to be social. We are not supposed to be alone all the time. Even those of us who are introverts need social interaction. It gets us out of our own heads and turns our focus outward. Bonus activity: Find a way to serve someone else. Filling a need for others is a great mood booster and has the added benefit of making society a little better.

Eat a nutrient-rich diet.

It’s cold. Just give me the carbs and leave me alone. Right? Not so fast. While comfort food might seem like the solution, it can contribute to feelings of depression and low energy. Make sure to include lots of fruits and veggies in your diet. If, like me, you don’t like to eat cold food during the winter, swap the salad for a healthy soup or roasted vegetables. Or, if you just can’t resist the craving for comfort food, try to lighten up the recipe by changing some ingredients to more nutritious alternatives. You’ll feel better and more energetic after a nutrient-dense meal.

Tackle a new project.

If you’ve been putting off painting that spare bedroom, grab your roller brush and get going! That new book at the library? Check it out and get reading. Have you been wanting to learn a new language? Que mejor momento para empezar que ahora! Having a fun challenge can give us something to look forward to. You’ll feel better for having accomplished something, and you will have passed the time doing something engaging.

Go outside.

Confession: I’m a total wimp in the cold. Here in the South, we don’t know how to handle it. Even for a Southener, I’m a lightweight. I’ll probably be one of those old people who keeps their house at 80 degrees all the time. Even so, I feel better after going outside. Low levels of Vitamin D have been associated with depression, not to mention its importance for our immunity. Making time to get outside, even if just for a few minutes each day, can help you beat the blues.

Practice gratitude.

Ok, bear with me. I used to get annoyed by this suggestion. It wasn’t that I didn’t have gratitude, but I just felt like it was being used as a platitude and not a practical suggestion. Plus, it felt forced. So, I started thinking about things that could be worse, and I realized there are a lot of little things to be grateful for that we normally take for granted. For instance, this morning when I woke up, I was in a heated room, a warm bed, and warm clothes. I had running water, so I didn’t have to walk for miles to get water (a sad reality for so many in this world). I drove my children to school in a car. They didn’t have to walk in the cold. I washed my sheets in a washing machine today.

A washing machine!

My grandmother didn’t have one of those until she was older than I am now. Of all the people who have ever lived, we are in the tiny percentage that have been able to have a machine wash our clothes for us. We are living in good times, people!

See how easy that was? Now go do some laundry and be happy about it.

Get a light therapy lamp.

With fewer hours of sunlight, people might feel more tired and lethargic. We need sunlight, and it has a major effect on our moods and energy levels. If you’re struggling to get over the winter blues, try throwing open the blinds/curtains at home to let in the sunlight. If you need something stronger, you might consider getting a light therapy lamp. These lamps are designed to mimic daylight, so you get the benefits of daylight indoors. There are even lamps that mimic the sunrise to help you wake up and get moving on those dark winter mornings. Looking to purchase a light therapy lamp? Here are USA Today’s 10 top-rated light therapy lamps.

Remember it’s only temporary.

Seasons come and seasons go. I’ve said before that the good times never last, but neither do the bad. Winter, though it might feel endless, will eventually give way to spring. When the winter blues are getting you down, just remember that the snow will melt. The cold will thaw. The darkness will fade. You’ll be able to feel your fingers and toes again. And perhaps, you’ll be able to smile through it all.

Do you have strategies to fight those winter blues? Share your ideas in the comments!

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