This time of year is always special. It’s a time of joy and excitement and general goodwill.
It’s also a labyrinth of social obligations, financial stressors, memories of those lost, and overall chaos.
If you’re a minimalist, or even if you have just a cursory understanding of minimalism, you know it’s better to prioritize memories over things.
That philosophy helps prevent excess during the holidays, and it also promotes intentionality in how we spend this festive time.
There can be this pressure, though, to create the “perfect holiday.” A time of impeccable balance, lifelong memories, and the best traditions.
There is no perfect Christmas. The turkey will get overcooked. The toddler will break an ornament. The lights won’t work, or someone will ruin the family picture.
Those hiccups can put a damper on your plans, but they don’t have to. Some of my favorite memories are the result of such disasters.
When my husband and I returned home one year, we couldn’t drive up the hill to our place because there was so much ice and snow. We had to leave our car at a garage at the bottom of the hill and walk up to our place. It was cold and miserable at the time, but now it’s a happy memory.
My family loves to bake during the holidays, and fortunately (unfortunately?), I have several good bakers around me. When I made a less than stellar homemade pie crust one year, it was more than a little frustrating. My dignity as a baker and member of the family was on the line, for crying out loud!
To this day, I get teased about the “chewy pie crust.” My ego recovered long ago, but the laughs continue.
As a child, we had a live Christmas tree each year. One year, my mother went by herself to get the tree. My mother, who is all of 5 feet tall.
Needless to say, the tree she chose was…. diminutive. The family was taken aback. This wasn’t a Christmas tree; it was a shrub!
That’s one of the few trees I remember distinctly. We laughed for ages about that little tree. It was the one year my mother could put on the tree topper.
I could go on, but you get the point. We never know which part of the holidays will create a special memory.
Many of the best memories don’t come from planned events. They come from fiascos, changes in plans, and unexpected results.
So this year, by all means, prioritize memories over things. Don’t “gift yourself” a mountain of debt this Christmas.
But you don’t have to twist yourself into a pretzel trying to create perfect memories, either. This time is not about avoiding any and all negative emotions. When we let go of unrealistic expectations, we make room to enjoy the holidays with all their inevitable twists and turns.
At the intersection of thwarted plans and an open heart is where we find the magic of the season.
Easter is coming, and it’s a big deal around here. This Sunday comes with religious, sartorial and cultural significance.
Egg hunts, lavish dinners, special worship services, and a feeling of new beginnings surround this springtime holiday.
And pretty clothes.
Stores are pushing their best Easter sales. Inboxes are full of ads with cheesy titles like, “Hopping Easter Deals!”
Mothers everywhere are in a frenzy trying to find coordinating outfits that will make their Easter family photos passable.
Perhaps one of those mothers will succeed where I failed. Miserably. We actually have an Easter photo wall of shame.
Regardless, the tradition of buying new clothes for Easter goes back quite a ways. Hats, gloves, lace, and lots of ruffles have made an appearance over the years.
My sisters and I circa 1989
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get something new. It’s a tradition for many people. Traditions are not bad.
But traditions can change. Traditions aren’t law. Traditions only carry the importance we assign to them. What if we did something different?
This year, I let my daughters pick which dress they wanted to wear. They both chose red and black dresses… so basically winter dresses.
That’s okay. They’re happy with their choices. We didn’t have to undergo a stressful shopping trip or risk an uncertain online purchase. We didn’t have to buy them another dress they don’t need.
I won’t have to fight them to wear a dress they hate to appease their mother. And they won’t ask me years later, “Why did you dress me in such a hideous dress?! What did you do to me?”
I can completely pass the blame on that one. “It’s what you wanted,” will be my reply. Of course, I realize they might question me letting them make the choice. Oh, well. Making decisions means being second guessed.
But even without new dresses this year? I’m pretty certain we’ll have lots of happy memories from this Easter weekend.
Besides, how many times do our plans go smoothly anyway? I’ve spent multiple Easter afternoons in the hospital visiting a sick loved one.
We’ve had to move egg hunts indoors when it rained.
Sometimes people have to eat out after burning the food.
Life happens. And the memories don’t have to be put on the back shelf because our clothes aren’t new.
If you want to don your newest and brightest outfit this Sunday? Go for it! Enjoy the newness. There’s zero judgment here.
But if you’d rather wear something less than new, there’s nothing wrong with that, either.
In fact, you might find your day is just as special without a new outfit. You might even make some memories with people you love.
Wouldn’t it be great if our homes cleaned themselves?
No more dishes. No more laundry. No more sweeping or mopping.
A girl can dream, right?
Unfortunately, having a clean home does not happen automatically. It happens through consistent effort.
Now, make no mistake: I am not implying you should have a spotless, perfectly clean home. Nope. Not at all. If you doubt me, you should look at my laundry room right now.
What I am saying is if you would like to have a cleaner home, and your children are a major obstacle to that, then I have a strategy for you to try.
And trust me, my children are no exception.
Last night, my daughter dropped bandaid trash on the floor. On purpose.
Why?
Just because she didn’t feel like walking five steps to put it in a trash can.
No kidding.
Obviously, Mr. and I made her pick it up and throw it away, with an expression on our faces that said, “What is wrong with you, child?!”
Or, for my fellow Southerners, “Were you born in a barn?”
But there is one thing that has helped us with our mini humans and their predilection for messiness.
It’s simple. It’s no-prep. It’s not fancy or flashy. It’s not a trend.
Ready? Here it is:
Put everything in its home at night.
The concept makes sense, right? Since Mr. is a coach, our family spends a lot of evenings at the gym. Sometimes, those evenings can run late. Since I’m getting old, I like to go to bed early. When I’m tired, I don’t just sleep on the bleachers. I don’t make a pallet in the gym floor.
Why not?
That would be weird.
I go home, and then I go to bed. If I’m not at home, I don’t go to sleep yet.
Our children understand this. So it’s easy for them to understand that their toys have to go home for the night. Their toys cannot “sleep” out in the cold, on the floor. They have to go back to their dwelling place.
Now, this phrase is not a magical wand. It’s just a framework to help them understand why they should put away their belongings.
But what if not all their belongings have a home?
And that’s where the work begins. We have a finite amount of space in our home, and while I know there are lots of clever space-saving devices and cabinets and thingamajigs, I am not personally interested in purchasing all of those.
I want easy access to my things. If we don’t have a home for a toy, they have to “evict” something to make room for it. This process is extremely easy for them.
Honestly? It usually means they’re swapping out one piece of junk toy for another piece of junk toy. But hey, that’s okay, because I never actually increase the number of piece of junk toys present in my home.
It stays relatively constant.
And when I say, “Put your toy home for the night,” they know where it goes. Perfecto!
So there you have it. If your children have too many toys as of now, you could have a “find a home” party, where they get to choose a new place for their toys.
It’s like House Hunters, except no one around here has a budget of $800,000.
Hopefully you can use this analogy to make cleaning your home a slightly smoother process.
And if all else fails, just sit in your messy living room and watch another episode of House Hunters.
Are you overwhelmed with all the toys your children have? Are you exasperated that all your living areas are glorified playrooms?
It can be frustrating. After all, there’s nothing quite like stepping barefoot on a Lego in the middle of the night while trying to find your way to the bathroom. Having too many toys can be painful, quite literally.
But what can you do about it?
Making the decision to minimize your children’s toys can be daunting. You have to decide which toys stay and which ones go. You also have to consider your child’s social and intellectual development, as well as what is age-appropriate and will last. These decisions aren’t just for minimizing toys, either. If you’re a new or expecting parent, you have to decide how many toys to buy, and which ones would be the best. All of these decisions don’t even take into account the actual process of getting rid of excess toys.
But you’re probably wondering:
“Where do I even begin?”
If you’re like me, making decisions is the hardest part. Once you decide what toys to keep, the whole process becomes easier. The question then becomes, which toys should you keep? Here are my top 7 suggested toys:
1. Playdough
Playdough is a great toy option for many reasons. It’s inexpensive and takes up little space, but it is also calming and can encourage creativity in children. It’s used for fine motor skill development, and it’s a great educational tool. I’ve used it in the classroom to help children form letters and sight words. What’s more? It’s great for a wide range of ages. Preschool children, all the way to adults, can benefit from playing with playdough. That’s right, playdough is relaxing for adults, too!
2. Imaginative play toys
Our children are bombarded with technology. It can certainly be helpful, but it can also do a lot of damage, especially to a child’s imagination. I’ve heard fellow educators talk about how many students do not know how to play during recess. If the class goes outside, the children stand around, waiting for an adult to tell them what to do or play. They don’t know how to initiate games or play pretend. A child’s imagination is something to be protected and nourished. Toys that foster imagination can help.
A couple of caveats:
One, imagination can be fostered without a toy, per se. Children, if not allowed to use technology as a pacifier, can use all sorts of objects around the house to play pretend. My youngest loved to play with toothbrushes. I know, it’s strange. But it worked, and she had to use her imagination to do so. The only downside was that I had to buy extra toothbrushes, because, well, children’s hands are gross.
I should also note that this “toy” is really a broad category. Loads of toys claim to foster imagination. Which ones are best? This is a downside because you have so many options. An upside, though, is that it’s customizable to your child. Dolls, cars, toy soldiers, pretend food, and play kitchens are all examples of imaginative toys. If you’re looking to downsize your child’s toy collection, a good rule is to choose those that they play with the most.
3. Puzzles
A few of the benefits of puzzles include persistence, memory, problem solving, and spatial reasoning. They can be completed alone or with others, and puzzles range from small children all the way to adults. If your child is too young for puzzles, opt for problem-solving toys, like a shape sorter. I was a big fan of puzzles for my students during any type of indoor recess time. They always enjoyed working together, and it was a learning activity that didn’t feel like learning. If you don’t want to purchase puzzles, some libraries have them available to borrow. This is a good option if your child doesn’t like to work the same puzzle twice, although I’m personally a fan of working the same puzzle repeatedly.
4. Cards and/or board games
While some of these games aren’t appropriate for toddlers, games like Candy Land are recommended for ages as young as three years. Children are exposed to counting, colors, and spatial reasoning in even the most basic games. The emotional benefits of games are difficult to overstate, as well. Children learn cooperation and how to win and lose. Ever seen an adult who can’t handle losing? It’s unpleasant. By playing games at an early age, children are able to experience winning and losing, both of which help them learn how to compete in a mature manner. Some games are cooperative in nature, which helps them learn teamwork and communication. Another benefit? It’s something the whole family can do together.
5. Ball
Whether it’s a baseball, soccer ball, football, or just a simple rubber bouncy ball, having something to throw around is great for kids. It encourages them to be physically active and promotes cooperation when tossing it with someone else. Gross motor skills and hand-eye coordination all get a boost from throwing and catching. And since most parents don’t want their children throwing indoors? Children are more likely to get outside and get a dose of vitamin D when playing ball.
6. Legos or building toys
There is an established connection between playing with Legos and an understanding of engineering concepts. Many schools incorporate Legos in their engineering coursework. And while you may not want to step on one, they can benefit your child. Of course, small children should start with larger versions, like DUPLOs, but Legos or other building toys are a great way for children to explore building, constructing, and increase creativity. Just like other toys on the list, these can be used for many years and for boys and girls. They also can be stored easily in a storage tote.
7. Books!
This one is near and dear to my educator heart. Books are absolutely essential in a home. Reading to your child is one of the best ways to prepare them for school. Reading to your child is a shared activity that encourages discussion and conversation. The best conversations I’ve had with my children have been a result of bedtime stories. Children are naturally curious, and stories are a springboard for them to learn about the world. Bonus? Using your local library will save you the cost and space of purchasing countless books, but with all the benefits of reading.
There you have it. This list is meant to be a starting point. You may wish to include more toys than these, and that’s okay. Being intentional in our parenting does not mean we have to be rigid. It means we make decisions that align with our values. One final note:
I’ve known parents who regretted certain decisions they’ve made along the way. None of those include giving too few toys to their children. So take heart. You are not harming your child by telling them no or by not buying them the latest and greatest. Love them, play with them, and let them play. Just make sure they clean up their Legos.
