How to Say No In a Nice Way

Being intentional with your time and money requires you to say no. Repeatedly.

Saying no can be difficult if you worry about offending others. Do you ever find yourself internally saying:

That salesperson is just trying to make a living.

I don’t want to leave this person high and dry.

I should do what I can to help.

How do we set boundaries without being rude? If you struggle with this balance, here are some ways to say no nicely:

Be honest

If something is too expensive, say that. “I would love to, but that is not in our budget right now.” If you have other time commitments, be upfront about it. “I have too many commitments right now.” If you have the time to do something, but you don’t view the commitment as worth your time, be honest. “I could do that, but my heart would not be in it. I don’t want to do something halfway.”

People may or may not respond well to honesty, but they never respond well to deceit.

Offer an alternative

If you are willing and able to help/buy in another way, offer an alternative. One way I like to do this is with fundraisers. I hate saying no to a child who is raising money for their team/school/etc., but I also don’t want to spend $30 on junk we don’t want. So, my husband and I will frequently offer a flat donation. A donation saves us money versus buying something we don’t need, and it usually means more money actually goes to the organization than buying through the fundraiser. It’s a win-win.

Show appreciation

If someone is asking you to do something, they are showing enough trust in you to ask. Show appreciation to that person. “I am flattered you thought of me, but I won’t be able to do that this time.” A simple acknowledgment can go a long way. If someone is asking you to buy something, you can still show appreciation. “Thank you for sharing that product with me. I have to say no for now, but if I decide in the future to purchase it, I know to come to you.” That lets them know it’s not personal; you just have no need of what they’re selling.

Give a specific time frame

If you really intend to do something, but now isn’t a good time, offer them a time frame. Be as specific as you can. This lets them know you’re not just avoiding the question. It also communicates when they can approach you again. You might say, “I would love to help. Now is not a good time, but I’m available in two weeks. Can you get back with me then?” Of course, if you give them a time frame, you have to stick to it. This is not to be used as an excuse to avoid saying no; this is to be used as a real, viable alternative. Stick to your word and follow through.

Smile

A smile will often make the difference between being rude and polite. A smile shows you are not angry or offended they asked. A smile shows that you are happy with your answer and feel no guilt about the boundary you’ve set. A smile shows confidence and ease. So when you say, “I appreciate that, but no thank you,” offer a smile.

The reality is, some people will not like it when you say no. It won’t matter how nice you are. If you want to be intentional with your time and money, however, that’s a small price to pay. By saying no to the wrong things, you can say yes to the right things.